My experience as a foreigner dating Filipina women taught me some important things. Not only about the women but also about the dating etiquette in the Philippines. I got to see first hand how the women in the Philippines are in a relationships and their personality traits — especially towards foreigners. It is no secret that many of them are looking for foreigner husband.
I never expected to be in a relationship with a Filipina. The first time I went to the Philippines it was just to see some beaches and party. It wasn’t until I started to go there consistently that I ended up having a relationship with a wonderful Filipina. But still, I wasn’t a foreigner looking for Filipina to marry. But I was open to short-term relationships with them.
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Dating her had its up and downs, but I think over-all I really enjoyed it. But that is also because I have enough experience to pick the good Filipinas. Some of them are not exactly relationship material. And many of them ended playing foreigner men. I will be blunt here, a Filipina has a certain charm about her. And if you choose the wrong women they may end up breaking your heart. So of course, you should trust your intuition on such matters and not just appearances.
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Dating a Filipina woman as a foreigner was a bit tricky. And in this article I wanted to give you guys a full breakdown of what it was like for me. And my experience is not unlike many other foreigner men who have had experience dating filipina women. Many of my conversation with expats in south east Asia have proven of what it was like to be in a relationship with one, and other ladies in south east Asia
Dating a Filipina Is Interesting Experience
I will be honest. They have some amazing qualities that deserve admiration. Some of the personality traits that I saw in my Filipina girlfriends was quite unique and in line with my own values. But on the other hand, I also saw some warning signs and red flags with them.
And then there is the whole topic of working girls in the Philippines. I will get into this too as it is an important one. A good portion of the women in the Philippines are working in the sex industry. Either as dancers, waitresses, hostesses, freelancers. And these factors must also be considered as a foreigner. And not only for here, but could also be at other destinations that attract foreign men.
Most guys don’t understand that this has a huge impact on the mindset of the women. They may not be what you are used to in your home country.
But here is the thing, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she is a “bad” person or a cheater. You may end up dating a Filipina who has had experience in that industry, and you might never even know it! There are plenty of girls who have normal jobs that still work on the side. And she will have a good way of hiding it from a foreigner man, especially if she is dating him.
There are also quite a few women that have had that experience and have now stopped it. So as a foreigner you may never know what kind Filipina you are involved with. And that is one of the pitfalls of Filipina women. Due to the lifestyle, it may be hard to gauge her and what her values are. And promiscuity could be a factor too.
Another important thing to know is that many of them want to date foreigners to get a better life. They want a chance to leave the Philippines for a better lifestyle, jobs, and to raise kids (source). They want their children to have a chance at a better life. And dating a foreigner man gives them this opportunity for that.
This is something that shouldn’t be looked-down upon. It is just the way things are in these types of countries. Not only in the Philippines. Also in many other countries in south east Asia and the rest of the world. Places that have a weaker economic situation than most “western” countries. So these are just a few things that should be considers when dating a Filipina.
3 Tips on Dating Filipina women
I wanted to give you guys 3 great tips to be successful in Filipina Dating. These tips are a general guideline. They don’t mean that all the Filipina women are that way. But from my experience (and many others) these tips hold true. Especially if you are a foreigner. So here we go.
As I was saying before, in these types of countries it is expected that the man take care of the woman financially. And the sooner you understand this the better. Don’t be offended by this, and don’t make a big deal out of it. But you should still have boundaries with them.
In most western relationships the costs of life are split 50/50 with the man and the woman. They share the costs like rent, shopping, food, entertainment.
In the Philippines things are a bit different. You, as the man will be in responsible for most of the costs (if not all). She might pay for the little things here and there. Things like taxi, snacks, pop corn at the movies. But don’t expect this from a Filipina. And do not be offended by it. Of course some of women have jobs and may be able to help a bit, but this is not the norm. Most of expenses will be on the shoulder of the foreigner boyfriend or husband.
The best way to be successful in this regard is to accept it and take charge financially. Don’t make a big deal of it, and certainly don’t appear stingy. Being stingy or a “cheap charlie” is one of the biggest turn offs to Filipina women. And not only them, but many other women in south east Asia.
This is especially true if you end up dating one of the more attractive Filipinas. Or the ones that are working in the bars — foreign oriented entertainment industries. Some of those girls are very attractive and look like models. If you want the pleasure of dating those types of women from the Philippines you need to accept this reality.
But it doesn’t mean that you need to be rich or a millionaire. It simply means that you are a generous man and you are not stingy to make her happy financially. Unlike some western women, it doesn’t take that much to make a Filipina happy.
But this is something that is important to understand and resonate with. The foreigner man is responsible for most (if not all) of the expenses and income. Do not make her feel guilty about it, or use this situation against her.
Be Masculine – A Leader
If you have experience in Asian countries you will already know this. But if you don’t I will tell you about it. South east Asia and the Philippines are male dominated countries. What does that mean? it doesn’t mean that men have the right to everything. What I mean is that the men have certain responsibilities and need to be masculine and take charge of the relationship. The man is expected to make the first move and lead the relationship to where it wants to go.
This is much different than most western countries. In those types of countries the gender roles are more “politically correct”. Men are not always supposed to show their masculine side, and leadership qualities. It can even send out the wrong message.
To be successful with Filipina dating you need to make the first move, have answers, and lead the interaction (and relationship). If you are hesitant or too indirect it can backfire on you.
This goes hand in hand with point #2 above. Don’t play too much games with a Filipina. Say what you want to say, and be upfront with her if you want her or not. This doesn’t mean that you show weakness or timidness. I mean don’t hide your true intents and what you want to do. If you want a serious relationship then tell her. If you want short term casual dating then tell her that too.
Most of the Filipina women already have hardships (or had them). They don’t need a foreigner man playing with them and lying to them. Be honest and upfront with them. In the long run this is much better. It will also help you avoid any misunderstandings with her down the line.
I realized that the more direct and honest I was with them it turned out better. Sure, I didn’t always get the Filipina I wanted, but most of the ones I did date I had an amazing experience with.
Understand now that if you get serious with a Filipina, it means that you may need to be close with her family.
The Philippines culture is highly family oriented. Agian, this is not only in the Philippines, but in south east Asia. Having a family and being close with them is one of the Filipina life goals.
You will quickly see that most of the Filipina women have big families. They will have numerous brothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, uncles, etc. And when you start dating her you will most likely need to be respectful to her family and be close with them.
And if you start to get really close with her, like marriage or fiance, you might also have to help financially to her parents. Like I was saying in point #1 above, don’t be stingy and cheap about this. If you don’t want that type of responsibility be honest and upfront. But don’t lead her on and then have empty promises.
Most foreigners that end up in long-term relationship or marriage have to face this reality. And I am giving you an honest view of how it may turn out. You can come to our own conclusions when you start dating Filipinas regularly as a foreigner.