Understanding how to text a girl is one of the most important things that any guy should know. Many guys end up failing at this crucial step. They pick up a girl they like, get her number, then start texting. From there you can either create more attraction and keep the interaction going, or it will go the opposite way: she will get bored and lose attraction for you.
There are 4 very important points when it comes to texting a girl. I will get into more detail about each of the them further into the article, but I wanted to point it out now since they are so important:
1. Make statements – Don’t ask too many questions
2. Remain less invested than her while chatting
3. Keep things exciting
4. Don’t text with with the girl for too long
And the strange thing is that women have no problem rejecting a guy just because of the way he texts her! yes it is true. Even if the girl liked you at first in person, she could be turned off from the way you are text messaging her and she will judge you on that. This has happened to me and to every guy out there at one point or another. It even makes me cringe at some of the things I use to message girls before actually building some sort of connection first.
And now with everybody texting more than actually speaking on the phone, this is certainly something that can take your game to a better level. Learning how to make a woman want you over the phone is useful. And not only that, it can even separate you from the rest of the guys that don’t know how to message girls over the phone. Don’t just wonder on how to text a girl, as yourself WHY are you texting her in the first place. And the answer is to keep her attracted to you, and set up a date.
When you first meet a girl you want to keep your texting short and sweet. Or it might be better to say short and exciting. It will also make her miss you rather than get bored with you so quick. I will also point out why giving statements rather than questions is the way to initially. There are some very important things on how to text a girl the right way, and I will get into detail below. These things will surely help you out in your text game and will increase your confidence so pay attention to them.
1. Make Statements Not Questions
This is probably the most important point so I will put it first. When you first start texting a woman make sure than you are not just asking her questions. This is not an interview. You want to make general statements and ask little questions. Generally speaking it is great sign if she is asking you the questions. Her asking questions means that she is interested in you, and willing to put effort into keeping the conversation going.
A statement is open-ended and does not need an answer in return. It simply shows that you are invested in the text, but not so much that you are looking for an answer. For example, rather than just saying “Hi, how are you?”, you could say “Hey it was cool meeting you the other night”. Then see how she responds. This is especially important for those first time texts when you never texted the person before.
Or another example, instead of saying “what are you doing tomorrow night?”, you could say “I feel like getting a drink tomorrow, you should come”.
This way the conversation is effortless on your part and shows that you are confident and don’t directly need an answer from her. Now remember, it is OK to ask some questions, especially if she is doing it to. Just keep in mind to make more statements rather than asking her questions one after another. The reason is that you want to stay less invested than her initially in the texting game, which I will talk about next.
2. Remain Less Invested Than Her
In simple terms, this means that she is putting more of an effort to chat with you than you are with her. An easy way to do this is to allow her to chat more than you. You should not be writing long sentences and answering all her questions so obviously. You want to try to remain less invested into the chat than her.
It is a bad sign if you are chatting more than her. Remember, girls like talking more than guys. If she is giving simple short words as responses than this is a clear sign that she is less invested than you during the texting process.
A good way to control this is to set the pace from the start. When you first text a girl you don’t want to write a long message to begin with. Set the tone. Make her feel more involved in the chat than you. You will see that if she is interested in you she will invest herself more into the chat and you will invest yourself less.
3. Keep Things Exciting
One thing to remember about women is that they enjoy exciting things. They don’t like boring conversations over text. One of your goals while texting should be to cause some type of exciting. Be spontaneous. Lets say you are at a cool restaurant, and the food tastes really good. You could tell her about through a text. Maybe you were at a great concert last night. Text about fun things and places.
Women are emotional and visual. If you want to cause some exciting and attract a girl over texting than you should understand this point. For example, when she asks you a question, don’t just reply with typical boring things. Make it a bit more interesting and fun. One way to do this is to never directly answer her question fully in the way she expects, and keep it open-ended. This is also why I mentioned making more statements rather than questions.
4. Don’t Text For Too Long
Don’t forget that ideally you would want to have real conversations with the girl. Texting should be primarily used to set up a date, or to build an initial connection over the phone. Texting is not a good way to converse because you can’t really use emotions and intentions when you want to say something.
It is important to try minimize the time you spent texting. This is also a great way to make a girl miss you. Give her the time to miss you by not always texting her.
Once you know the girl more and have already gone on dates is better to have longer text conversations. At first it is usually better to keep it short and sweet. Use texting to set up a time to see her. Understanding how to text a girl will really make it fun and interesting for the both of you.